Humility is the attitude of the heart that reflects who we are in comparison to God. It takes a lifetime to learn deep humility, but every step we take is valuable. One who is humble is not interested in boosting others’ opinions of them. They are willing to be vulnerable and acknowledge their dependence on others. They are teachable so they welcome suggestions and corrections from others. They are not bothered by criticism presented with a harsh voice; they look for the truth in the criticism and overlook any lack of love. They want to be known for who they really are and will not indulge in boasting or false humility because they value honest relationships. The humble learn to embrace times when they are neglected, forgotten, rejected or wrongfully accused as opportunities to learn more humility and faith. They learn when it is wise to speak up about an offense and when it is not. They seek to do all things out of love for God and the desire for Christformation.
As we mature we should be able to accept criticism with grace, obey with cheerfulness (“The wise in heart accept commands” (Pro. 10:8, NIV)) and learn how to listen more than talk. We should sincerely think of ourselves as needy and be surprised at compliments we receive. Since we are aware of God’s grace for our faults, we should not feel devalued by our faults but rather be somewhat unconcerned about what others say about us. In some settings, we should be able to make our major faults and weaknesses known and mention that we are trying to make progress on them. Assuming our spouse is not harsh or condemning, we should be able to openly admit all of our significant faults, be open to suggestions from them, not be defensive when they point them out and acknowledge that we need to work on our faults, especially faults that substantially affect our relationship with our spouse and others. This is practicing biblical fellowship.
Below is a meditation to help us grow in humility.
- Absorb Scripture. Read Philippians 2:3-5 “Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had” (NLT). Imagine Jesus standing in front of you speaking these words to you; how does this affect you? Ruminate on the passage, understand it and let it sink in.
- Feelings and Emotions Reflection. Ask yourself: What feelings or emotions (for example, peace, joy, gratefulness, doubt, fear, pain, resistance), if any, did I experience during or after absorbing this passage? Why was I feeling this way?
- Virtue & Action Commitment. Invite God to reveal your heart then ask yourself: Is there a directive in this passage that I am not fully embracing? If so, follow through by telling God you are committed to it. Also, ask yourself: What prideful thoughts do I accept? What is behind my lack of humility? How do I deal with that root issue? How is Jesus a model for me to follow?
- Tell God what changes you are committed to making and ask him for help.
- Reception (Contemplation.) Ask God to show you anything you have not fully embraced and anything else he desires to show you, or ask Jesus a question about this topic. Sit with a quiet and open heart for at least 60 seconds. You may also try to “gaze” on Jesus or on something connected to this topic. If you receive an impression, apply discernment and cooperate accordingly.
How do you want to grow in humility? Is there a phrase you can remember during the day in order to stay centered on humility?
