You overhear a co-worker talking about their belief that people go through reincarnation until they eventually become god. You are friends with them and you want to talk with them about your faith. So how do you bring up the topic without coming across as combative? How do you say something that they would actually listen to? Do they have any ideas that you agree with that could be a bridge to them? What doors are open to them?
Consider the following list of traits that Christians value:
- Hope
- Optimism
- Self efficacy
- Problem solving
- Creativity
- Wisdom
- Courage
- Positive emotion
- Self esteem
- Love
- Emotional intelligence
- Empathy
- Attachment
- Forgiveness
- Humor
- Gratitude
- Faith
- Morality
- Coping
- Well being
Now here is the surprise. This list is not from a Christian or a Christian book. It is from the secular book Positive Psychological Assessment, by Shane Lopez and C. R. Snyder, published in 2003 by the American Psychological Association (“APA”). The APA is a large secular association and we don’t know the personal beliefs of the authors. This book comes from the branch of psychology known as positive psychology which focuses on how people become happy, as opposed to just focusing on treating disorders.
This list demonstrates that unbelievers can discover the traits of happiness that God intended for us. People will always be interested in happiness. We don’t need to be on the defensive in our spheres of influence. If we follow social media we might be tempted to think that most people are hostile to Christianity. Is that really true? My experience is that in person nearly everyone will talk about some of the traits in this list and nearly everyone will listen to something Jesus said. People care about their lives and if we are friendly and connect with what is in their heart then we will find open doors.
“People care about their lives and if we are friendly and connect with what is in their heart then we will find open doors.”
So this list contains twenty topics that we could bring up with an unbeliever. In the example above, you could listen for the co-worker to mention something about one of these traits. Then in their next conversation you could complement them for valuing that trait, for example, self-esteem. Then you could talk about how value it too and how it helps you. That opens the door for you to say that you find your self-esteem in God’s love and acceptance of you. Then you could see where the conversation goes.
The lesson is that unbelievers value many of the same things Christians do and they are open to talking about them. These traits are strategic bridges to the heart of the people around you who don’t know Jesus. Look for the open doors!
